Time, Healing, and the Spiritual Connection
Time – it’s a funny concept, isn’t it? One minute, I’m blogging regularly, the next . . . over three years passes by and I haven’t posted a thing. Much has occurred since my last blog in 2015, the details of which I don’t need to go into here, but if you have followed my Facebook page, you know some of them.
In the realm of Spirit, there is no such thing as “time.” That’s something we’ve created, as humans, to help get a better grasp on things. And yet on Earth, time feels so very real, doesn’t it? And the concept of the “Anniversary Effect” also can be very real – especially for empathic folks such as myself. I have always been one to measure and understand things by anniversaries. Since I was a child, I had a mind like a steel trap for dates. Even now, I could tell you the date I performed my last concert in high school, or where I was on December 4, 2014 (I was in New York City, by the way 😉 ). Just one of those quirky abilities I developed, much like my intuition . . . though I was aware of the date memory long before I was aware of the intuition, but I digress.
Now knowing this about me, it should come as no surprise to you when I say that today, I woke up with a surge of anxiety, when I remembered it was six years ago I entered the hospital and began a six-and-a-half week long process of surgery and recovery that would, quite literally, change my life. After that experience, I began seeing a therapist and exploring WHY I was the way I was. I went from a place of being in denial about my health, financial, and life circumstances, to being in one of hyper-awareness and vigilance (which is one of the causes of my anxiety currently, and something I am working with, in therapy, to bring back to “center”). I started to communicate more frequently and openly, admitting when I needed help and support. And although I am not nearly where I thought I would be six years later, I am able to see the blessings and gifts I have received in this healing process – and am even beginning to appreciate the lessons of patience it is teaching me.
So why do I share all of this in such an open, public way? Because firstly, in order to bring light to my shadow, I have to acknowledge the shadows exist. Secondly, I am sure that there are many of you out there who feel similarly, or also experience anxiety and/or the “Anniversary Effect.” And lastly, it is like I said to a group I was doing a reading for a couple of weeks ago: Just because I can connect with Spirit and talk to those on the Other Side, does not mean I have all of my ______ (insert expletive here) together!” And although that comment received a few chuckles, it is also the honest and complete truth. I am still human, so I still have moments of being consumed by time, fear, worry, and ego running the show. Yes, I am blessed that when I take the time to consciously connect with Spirit, I get out of my own way, bypass the space of ego and fear, and am able to see and feel the bigger picture. But, the key is that I have to get there first . . . and therein is the challenge and the lesson. 😉 This is a reminder to you that we ALL have the ability to bypass that ego space. It simply takes time, patience, and presence.
Hopefully, in a month or a year or six more years’ time, when I look back, I will be able to do so with more gentleness towards myself, more love and acceptance for my process and my flaws and “failures.” But until then, I – like most of us – will continue to walk this bumpy road of earth life, and learn from each experience, each moment in time, as it passes.