After the various experiences of the last few years (and my entire life), I consider myself to be a pretty strong person. However, I often find myself battling tremendous feelings of overwhelm, and it is something I discuss often in my therapy sessions.
Overwhelm strikes me at many different moments – when I am overtired and in need of rest, when I am feeling lonely, when I have been doing a lot of readings and healing work (and my being an “empathic sponge” is in overdrive 😉 ), and ironically enough, when things are going really well and successfully (I become afraid that “the other shoe is going to drop”).
I had a wonderful day today – productive, with a beautiful new, potential opportunity presenting itself. I had some great phone calls with friends I hadn’t spoken with in a while, and had snuggling and play time with Kelly. I am getting ready for a very full afternoon of readings at the store tomorrow. And then on Sunday, getting to work the registration and product sale tables at a seminar being presented by Suzane Northrop in Connecticut, followed by dinner with some wonderful soul sisters. These are all wonderful things!!!
So you can probably imagine my surprise when, after dinner a little while ago – during a little bit of down time as I was settling in to blog (and also watch Red Sox baseball 😉 ) – I found myself sobbing, feeling completely overwhelmed. Can’t pinpoint why it came on, or even when it began to bubble up . . . but it is still there, and pretty intensely so, as I write.
I know this will pass. Overwhelm has struck before, and it most likely will at some point again. I would like to believe I’ll overcome it at some point. But for now, it is learning how to ride the waves, keep my heart open in the midst, and understand that it will pass.
And as the sense of being overwhelmed passes, two quotes to consider:
“Even the strongest have their moments of fatigue.”
And from the Desiderata:
“…do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness…”