Letting Go of Control
When was the last time you truly let go? I’m not talking about letting a little minor detail or experience pass by or get shrugged off. I’m talking about fully surrendering; letting go and let the universe support you entirely? For someone like myself – a bit of a control freak, admittedly – it had been . . . well, quite some time, to say the least.
Tonight I gave myself a beautiful gift of self-care, by attending a workshop and lead by my beloved friend Nancy Santullo (see more about Nancy’s amazing charity work here). I first met Nancy in 2010, thanks to a mutual friend, at a similar workshop that she was holding. I noticed immediately that Nancy embodied the energies of boldness, combined with balance of gentleness and grace (all of which I was looking to experience more of myself). At the same time, there were something in that workshop that she said to me – the specific wording of which I am forgetting now – that really irritated and aggravated me. She was reaching deep into my core and reading right through me upon first meeting me. It took me years to build up those walls; how dare she see through them only 30 minutes after meeting me?!? 😉
Upon leaving that workshop, however, I noticed that I felt a significant shift. I couldn’t put into words exactly “what” happened, but I knew the burdens I walked in with had lessened. I also felt a very deep soul recognition with Nancy, and whenever she would return to the area in the two years to follow, I would attend her workshops and bring friends. It always felt to me like “coming home,” and although my schedule didn’t allow for me to attend the workshops in the last few years, when I heard she was offering one tonight, I considered it to be one of the greatest “belated birthday gifts” I could give to myself.
What I discovered about myself in tonight’s workshop was not necessarily anything profoundly “new”. However, a couple of deep-seated beliefs that I thought I had worked through and healed came up to the surface for more healing in a profound way. However, what I noticed that was different this time, as compared to previous workshops with Nancy, was that I was not fighting what was arising. I let the tears flow freely, and also laugh and smile when I felt it. If I felt my body wanting to move or sway a certain way, I didn’t try to stop it. I just let it do what it was ready to do.
This was such a tremendous difference from previous times I had seen Nancy. Obviously, I am a very different person inside than I was three years ago when I last saw her. However, for somebody that still has the “control issues” that I do, allowing myself just to feel and to be with what was, was so very different. I didn’t care how I looked to others in the room this time around. I was ready to truly LET GO. And although I have yet to see how this will manifest in my outer world in the days, weeks, and months to come, this much is for certain – I can feel the shifts deep within me. It goes beyond what words can describe.
So I invite you to consider one area (or more) in which you are ready to truly surrender. Where are you willing to let go and let God? As Nancy reminded us tonight, we are always so surrounded – by angels, guides, and other amazing beings – and supported along the path. We will never fall . . . but even if by chance we were to fall, we would be okay, as we would be lifted up and guided to the next place along our journey. So much opens up to us when we just . . . let . . . go. 🙂