Feeling ALL the Feels!
This article from the New York Times was shared with me this morning, and it really hit home, on many levels.
I have always been super emotional and sensitive, since I was a child. I didn’t realize growing up that part of it was how empathic I was, and – as the article above implies – how women are inclined to feel things more deeply. As I got older, and started to open up to my intuitive gifts, it felt like such a curse. I kept chastising myself over the years: Why are you so damn sensitive? Get over yourself. Other people can handle stuff like this with no problem. Grow up! (Did I mention I have a really strong inner critic that loves to make her voice heard? 😉 )
One of the things that I’ve realized – with the help of therapy over the last 2+ years – is that my sensitivity is a gift, even if at times it doesn’t feel like it. My therapist reminded me once, “You are exquisitely sensitive. I say exquisitely because your sensitivity is what makes you so good at what you do. It allows you to pick up on nuances of energy, interpret them, and read for your clients. But it also makes life intensified for you. You don’t live your life in black and white, or even in primary colors; you live in a wide pallate of colors, and this is not a bad thing. It’s part of what makes you, YOU.”
This perspective has certainly helped – but I would be lying if I said I’m able to be in that neutral space about it all the time! I tend to experience “all the feels,” as I’ve heard others describe it . . . and even until recently, part of me has wondered (like the article describes) if I need anti-depressants just to balance the intensity of feelings – especially with the funk I’ve been in and out of since before the holidays. I am constantly having to ask myself, “Is this mine, or someone else’s?” It can be an exhausting process, and one that keeps me in my head more often than I would like. But after reading this article today, I am realizing more and more that I am “wired,” naturally, to feel more deeply . . . and, if I ride the waves of emotion, rather than resist them or try to swim against them, they will pass.