Change Will Do You (Me) Good
Sometimes in life we’re faced with an opportunity that allows us to face an old pattern, recognize and acknowledge the pattern, and do something different than we’ve done before (or choose to do the same if we’re not ready for change). Today was one of those opportunities for me.
In the past, my experience has been that when faced with a challenge, I would tend to sweep it under the rug, say it was fine and just “brush over” the fact that it happened or that I was feeling any sort of emotions other than happy or joyful. It was too hard to acknowledge any pain, so I would stuff it down with food or with keeping myself busy, or just ignore it entirely – sometimes consciously, sometimes out of habit.
As I’ve written about on here the last few days, I’ve been moving through some intense emotional ups and downs. But unlike the past, I haven’t run away from it; I’ve kept going through them. This afternoon I had the opportunity to address the emotions that were coming up with a friend. I was feeling angry, sad, abandoned, confused and hurt, among other things. I was afraid of losing the friendship, regardless of whether I spoke up or whether I didn’t.
I’m happy to say that the friendship made it through, and my heart is feeling lighter tonight after expressing myself. Although I’m not really proud of exactly what I said or how I said it (as swearing at a friend generally isn’t a recommended way of responding to something 😉 ), I acknowledge that I addressed the feelings as they arose, and spoke my truth – and THAT is progress. Change can be painful sometimes, but if it is embraced, it can be really good . . . and that was certainly the case today. Onward and upward from here!